an open letter to my friends and family
While I normally try to keep my content light and funny, this letter serves a purpose that doesn’t lend itself to humor. This topic has been weighing on me since the very start of my romance writing journey and it’s something that comes up every time someone asks me about my books or my publishing experience. Because I value your time, and I have the security of not sitting right in front of you, I’m going to come out and say it.
There is explicit content in my books.
Some of you may wonder why I’m making such a formal post about this, and that is fair. You wondering why that is such a revolutionary statement tells me this letter probably isn’t for you. But some of you are going to be surprised and even bothered by that statement—and all it’s connotations. To you I say, please continue reading.
I’m not here to make excuses, but my choice to include on page sex in my books wasn’t random and I’d like to give some context.
As you are probably aware, I was raised in a very conservative and religious household. About ten years ago, I left the church I was raised in, and don’t plan on ever looking back. Part of my journey from the church included rebuilding my entire belief system and worldview; I quite literally had to examine every experience or understanding that came my way and hold it up without a filter to decide if it was something that resonated with me. I no longer had the structure provided to me in my youth.
A major part of my reinvention was examining the purity culture standards I was raised with and deciding how I was going to handle sex and intimacy going forward. When you’re raised with an absitence in all things mentality, and then open yourself up to nothing being off limits, it makes for a wild ride. Shifting my thinking affected not only my real life, but also my creativity. Removing the judgement from my lens helped me create characters who experience life much like we do—unfiltered and uninhibited.
I’ve turned away from shame, and no longer hold judgement for those who push boundaries or choose to live with their sexuality on their sleeves. I won’t use descriptors like “clean romance,” because to me, open door scenes aren’t dirty. My characters use their physical intimacy to build their relationships and discover parts of themselves they might not otherwise. Some have trouble with it, others are naturally more sexual; all are welcome on my page.
My books show grown, consenting adults, engaging in all types of physical intimacy and if that isn’t something you are interested in, I highly encourage you to seek out the kinds of stories you prefer. I won’t be hurt or offended if you choose not to purchase or read my books. If it’s something you’re curious about, you’re welcome to read my work.
But the one thing I ask is this: Please refrain from judging someone else’s experience because it isn’t your own.
I write spicy romance because I want to be an example of safe, healthy, and consensual intimate relationships between dynamic characters. I write it because for me, shedding the cloak of purity culture and embracing an open door policy was life changing and helped me see myself and my loved ones with more compassion and grace. I write it because it is fun and I’ve connected with others over the shared experience of enjoying a smut scene.
At the end of the day, we are all adults and can make decisions about what content we consume. I too, have my limits and tastes. But whether you approve of the way I’ve decided to carve out space in the literary landscape isn’t something I need to worry about. I don’t want to say I don’t care, because I love each of you and the roles you’ve played in my life up until this point, but what you think of me isn’t any of my business and I won’t be giving space to judgement over something that is so important to me.
None of this is meant to discourage you from reading my work; I am very proud of the stories I’ve created. But because I believe in informed consent, I think it’s important I share content warnings, which you will find both here on my site and printed in each of my books.
Thank you for your support.
-h
